Intro

Usually, I’m writing my blog posts about lighter subjects like language or traffic and usually they are in Dutch, since that’s my mother tongue. But a little over 14 months ago, I started the adventure of my life with a wonderful, not (yet) Dutch-speaking girl, so let me share my feelings about this via this English-written blogpost!

Finding the right person

People that know me, are aware of my interest in people of different cultures on one side and the fact that I had some trouble to find someone that matched me, my energy and my personality on the other side. Still, what happened to me, was nothing I planned or expected to happen. Being a person of the current, digital age, I used an online platform to meet interesting (in my case feminine) people. After countless shorter or longer conversations that didn’t end in the right way, there was a girl from 9000km away that said “Hello”. Seen the distance, my hopes were not too high, but her bio was interesting so I wanted to know more about her. What a pleasant surprize was this, she seemed to meet every expectation I had, she was always cheerful and kind, could cope with my energy and was genuinly interested in me! 😍

The first months, from virtual to physical

The difficulty of getting to know each other over a longer distance is that the usual meeting (or date) after some period of talking, is not possible. Luckily, we were both pragmatic people, so we just replaced that with virtual talks! I’m known to like long talks about anything and everything, from the weather, food and local news to deeper subjects like our feelings and relationships of all kinds. And again, I found thé perfect talking partner, since she liked to talk about everything I proposed and she brought many subjects of her own! The result was that in the first 3 months of virtual conversations, we got to know each other soo well, that she was no longer a stranger, despite the fact we never met in person.

Of course, also for us it was important to have some perspective on meeting each other in real life, so it took about a month before we started talking about a travel together. We booked our tickets (for another 2 months later), looked for a good hotel together and started to plan the trip, talking about it a lot until the day of meeting had finally come! The expectation was that meeting in person would not feel too awkward and it was as hoped: it felt totally comfortable for both of us to be together! We had the feeling we were travelling with a friend, making it a very nice trip on which we could enjoy culture, food and most importantly: each other’s company. 👫🏻

Since our first holiday together, things have only gone better! She visited me in the meantime, I’m travelling to her home in a couple of weeks and in between, we’re video calling every day, making plans for the future. 💕

Sounds great, something for everyone?

While in our case, everything is going in a good direction, I can imagine this would not be something everyone would feel comfortable with. Replacing physical meetings by virtual talks, missing being physically together can be (and in our case also sometimes is) something hard to cope with! The main advice I can give is to manage your expectations well, as you know that “jumping on a plane to see each other” is not realistic and you have to be aware of the rollercoaster of emotions you are confronted with. You still have your life, family and work to deal with on a daily basis so you can’t just sit and wait until you see each other again. There are events, big and small, on which you wished you were together but which are in the best case something you witness via video, and often even just via a nice photograph and written explanation. Oh, and in our case the time difference, 5-6 hours (depending on DST), is something to keep in mind as I wake up when it’s noon for her and she goes to bed when it’s late afternoon for me… so the window of possible talks is shorter than we would both wish for!

But all of that is worth it, as we work towards something together! I could not be in such a relationship if it would not be with a common goal, in our case to live together in the not-too-far future! And that’s the thing to take energy from, the idea that your time together will come, that you will be physically together soon, making up for all the times you had to be physically separated… ❤️

Conclusion

I wouldn’t want it any other way! This came on our path and we jumped in it together, making this relationship the best I could wish for! We’re patiently waiting until we can be reunited again, isn’t that a sign of true love? 🥰